Forgiveness for Your Own Good

You are always being told, "Forget what happened. Put it behind you and move on."

It is not that easy, isn't it?

Forgiving someone who has done you an injustice is difficult; it even fels illogical, because we feel that we are letting the wrongdoer off the hook. But forgiving does not equate letting someone off the hook. Forgiveness does not mean that you are condoning bad behaviour. Forgiveness is not about the other person. It is about you.

You forgive people not for their sake, but for your own sake. You forgive because that is the only way you can set yourself free. When you forgive, you are letting go of anger, of hurt, helplessness or shame. Like love, when forgiveness is given unconditionally, it is incredibly empowering for the giver. When you set conditions on forgiveness, you give power to your tormentors. You make it easier for them to hurt you again.

Stress is often caused by regrets and resentment we have been holding on to for years. These grudges rob us of peace of mind and hamper our growth.

Peace of mind is required for healing to take place. Forgiveness can bring that peace of mind. That said though, nobody should demand or expect forgiveness from you. It is nobody's right to be forgiven. It is up to you when you are ready and when you want to forgive them. You have to work through your anger and sense of loss before you will be able to do that. Others can ask for forgiveness but not expect it. To expect forgiveness builds up even more resentment.

But we all should practise forgiveness regularly to unclutter our mind. When we forgive, w remove what is blocking our energy and happiness. We open doors to fresh air and light.

Adapted from Slice of Life

I saw a client, and I wonder if I will see her again in my next planned session. She will be attending a court hearing and her lawyer told her to prepare herself mentally for a jail term. I felt sorry for her; the investigation for her criminal case stretched for years and she was put through the same length of mental, emotional torture. She ought to be punished for the crime she has committed, but who is responsible to mete out the years of torture? The court hearing is in a couple of days' time; she faces probable jail term and the only thing she is seeking is forgiveness from her husband. I am speechless...